Wait, before I get into all that, let's do this, "movie ishtyle"...
Sepia tinted, we're going BAAAAAACK in time, to an age that seems impossibly distant... 1994, a totally different age, a different MILLENNIUM in fact.
Scene: Office of the Junior Engineer, Telecom, Margao, Goa...
I am standing there, inside the office of the JE (T). One among many. There are probably around 25 to 30 people, all standing around one large, squarish wooden desk. Supplicants all. Entreating, hands folded, while the gentleman on the other side of the table is "busy" talking on the phone, completely oblivious to the population in front of him, around him.
This is Goa. Most of the personnel (at least back then) in the telephones department were from Karnataka, speaking mostly in their native Kannada while the local Konkani speaking population looked on blankly understanding barely nothing. The JE (T) was in earnest conversation after conversation with his senior officials on phone while the lot of us waited with the patience of Job... One phone call over, and just as he would take an application in hand the phone would ring again... and again... the crowd, impatient yet impotent, grumbled, murmured, muttered, spoke among themselves giving vent to their frustrations, all in vain as JE(T) remained calmly aloof, an island of perfect poise in a sea of angry supplicants.
Patience, as those who know me well, has not really been a strong virtue with me. After watching this for about 5 minutes, I exploded. Thumping the table I attracted his attention. Continuing his conversation on the phone he looked at me, made eye contact.
That was enough, for me - I told him, firmly, that I had business with him, and that too, NOW. Get off your phone, and listen to me. He blustered, I threatened. He blustered some more. I pointed an index finger at him and, without raising my voice, I told him "I know where you stay, in Fatorda. I am going out to the market now and will be back in my house in 2 hours. By then I expect to find my phone connection in order. Otherwise, be prepared, I'll be at your door.... "
Flashback within Flashback:
The story goes back by another 6 months. My transfer, to Goa, and becoming eligible for a residential telephone - the "shifting" of the phone from the residence of the previous branch in charge to mine. The paper work. The application moving from one department to another, in the same building, on the same floor - by REGISTERED POST, I do not exaggerate! - all this had already taken up more than 2 months. The Superintending Engineer had, finally, graciously, granted his signature "subject to submission of feasibility report by JE(T)"... and this is how, after 5 months of relentless pursuit, I ended up, once again, as a supplicant before this rather seedy looking, bespectacled gent..... back to flashback...
Flashback:
Through with my rounds of various clients, I reach my colony. Below my building 3 employees, linesmen from Telecom, busy at work. I am not sure whether they are doing MY job and I go up. The JE(T) is outside my door, holding 3 telephone instruments in his hand - black, grey and red. "Saar", he says, "Yeverything yis reddy, all is finished. Line has been lied also. Wonly now you choose which colour phone you want!" I think I picked the grey one.
"My telephone number?" I asked him. "So sorry saar," he said, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down, in sync with the speed at which he was nodding, "that is not yet allotted. Wee will do yit tomorrow?" he asked/said. "But, don't worry, till that time you make all calls, yanywhere, it will all be free, even STD calls" he concluded, triumphantly.
And thus, it came to pass, I finally had a phone, installed, at home.
This was then.....
And NOW, returning to the present....
I had a Tata Photon connection (are they called dongles?) for my PC at home. And I had a Tata Photon connection (dingle dongle) for the laptop that I use at work. The former was being used by my son and, ever since he went off to cooler climes, the PC has been used sparingly. By the wife. To Skype with an ever reluctant son. So, over time, we realised that the monthly billing for the damn dongle was avoidable expenditure - this realisation dawned on the wife in end October, last year.
In November I sent an e-mail to Tata, expressing a desire to discontinue the services. Wanted to know how to go about it.
No response.
In November, I called up their customer "service" line, with the intention of expressing a desire to d.t.s - after about 8 minutes of music (you know? At the outset the music sounds pleasant? And then, as it goes on and on, it gets quite so that your nerves are stretched to breaking point?) interspersed with punching multiple buttons for all kinds of options, the line got "dropped" - all foreplay, no match!!
End November, called up customer service - this time, after a few minutes, I finally was able to speak to a living, breathing, talking human male. I succeeded in e.a.d.t.d.t.services... His reaction was a stunned, shocked "WHY?" It took me a couple of seconds to understand what he was saying. I, being what I am, found the question unamusing and retorted "Did you ask me WHY I wanted the connection/service when I applied?" It took him slightly more than 5 seconds to understand what I was saying. So, we were even, for a moment. Recovering his slightly rattled composure, he came back "Sir, we must have an answer to this question. It is a part of the process." Staying firm, I said, "I refuse to tell you". This went back and forth 3-4 times before he finally said "OK sir, I'm logging in your request. Thank you for calling Tata..." and I hung up.
1st week of December, Tata sends in the usual e-bill. It seems the service has not been disconnected. And so, I call them again. I refuse to pay. The young man at the end of the line offers sincere apologies and promises to take immediate action.
Mid December, I get a call from Tata, a collection executive, reminding me that my payment is overdue and when am I going to cough up my cash. I explain my position. The young man at the end of the line offers sincere apologies and promises to take immediate action.
This happens, again, in end December. Repeated, over and over again, in 1st week of Jan., mid Jan and end Jan.
And Feb.
And March.
Meanwhile, I've also been having extended correspondence over e-mail. With a Customer Relations Executive, a Senior Customer Relations Executive etc. The so called "outstanding" dues has now crossed Rs.4,000/-, according to Tata. And in March they finally agree to accept a sum of Rs.1,200/- as "full and final settlement" (and I agreed to that simply because, in December, unknown to me, my wife used the dongle on one single lousy day, showing the line was active!) The payment was supposed to be collected, in cash, by a collection executive who was supposed to come the next day.
He did not. He did not come the day after the next day. Or the day after that. Or even the next... anyway, you get the point. I, too, forgot all about it.
Till the first week of April. The e-mail with the e-bill. Followed by a phone call. Repeat. By now I am screaming, furious and in a state of apoplexy. FINALLY, that elusive collection executive lands up - one day later than assured/promised - and I give him Rs.1,100/- and insist with him to write "FULL & FINAL Settlement" etc on the receipt. He does. And leaves.
Sigh of relief.... I have kept the receipt securely, in my file. I checked it, again, just to be sure. There it was, in small print, tucked away in the top left hand corner, "This receipt is not valid for disputed claims and/or full & final settlements"
??!!?? WTF?!!
It struck me, then.... 6 months, back then, to get a landline connection installed (and that too, after threatening someone.) 6 months, now, to get a connection un-installed - and, yes, had to threaten, scream and shout....
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