.... Never the twain shall meet!

I'm tired of the West. I am firmly of the East. The West has, for far too long,lorded it over the East and looked down in sneering scorn. It is time, I think, to set the score right.

In all this, while I am tired of the West, what can I say of the South? They don't even get into the East vs West argument, such smug buggers they are, staying aloof and snooty.

 

If you think I am talking about inward looking, contemplative, Oriental thought and philosophy set in conflict with Occidental culture, science and the Renaissance.... you're way of the mark.

That is a battle for another day. But yes, there is a small, tangential connection. The oft mentioned comment, "The East is east, and the West is West, and never the twain shall meet" is somewhat true.

But I have suffered ENOUGH. Not once, not twice, but on THREE CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS this resident of the eastern suburbs of this wretched hell-hole called Mumbai went traipsing (at the beginning) from the East, in an attempt to reach the western suburbs (which, by the way, I must say, is enough for a lifetime) What I started off doing (traipsing) soon degenerated into a slow funeral march, crawling, inching, and if you allow me to be accurate, millimetering through the traffic snarls of the uppity, snooty, snobby, pathetic, horrible, horrendous, lousy, terrible roads of the W suburbs...

Thursday: Left Churchgate at 5:05, reached AND crossed the domestic airport at 5:55 (YES!) and was en-route to a friends house in Kandivli. Guess what? Destination reached, finally, at 8:20! The Smokehead (a fine, majestic single malt) was worth that ride. As was the company - and the conversations too. But next trip to Kandivli? In my 4th rebirth after this! (That will be too soon)

Friday: This, in fact, was an unplanned, impromptu gathering of lie minded oldies (mature talents, as the initiator described this). Despite misgivings, tempted by the promise of free flowing conversations, one left home (Kanjur Marg - and YES, that IS a place, and it IS in Mumbai, seriously, go look it up on Google, real people DO live here) at 7:00. Was at the "J" end of the JVLR Highway by 7:35. Destination: Global Fusion, near Ambani Hospital in Andheri West, reached at 8:40! 

Saturday: As with Thursday, a PLANNED trip. Once again to Andheri West (Andheri: The heart of darkness? The abode of depression?) Shall say noting except one word, "Ditto" (same as above) 

I'm now seeking early retirement. From the "charm", the "seduction" and whatever else you may say to me, about the Western suburbs.

Give me places with names like Vidya Vihar. Like Bhandup. Nahur. Even Govandi and Bainganwadi. Give me a heaven called Kanjur Marg. 

Where the roads are good. 

Where traffic flows smoothly.

Where a journey is just a journey and not a fight with life.

Where Life is GOOD.... 

Where the East is, there is inner peace. 

And you, South Bombay (somehow, while the Eat and West became Mumai, SsoBo remained Bombay, no?) - yes, YOU, South Bombay, you just shut up! I'll bash you if you even smile smugly after reading this. Not ONE word from your snooty mouths!! 

Be warned. I'm in a fighting mood tonight. 

And yes, on that note, here's wishing you a Happy Gudi Padwa.