A Conspiracy of Silence

My cell phone(s) (that's right, I own 2 of them) I suspect have taken to playing games with me. It is, I am sure, a conspiracy. A downright dastardly one at that.

They are, I'm sure, giggling between themselves even right now, even as I am sharing these thoughts with you through THEM

They are naughty. Pranksters out to deprive me of my peace, trying to drive me out of my mind.
They listen in, quietly, silently spying on my conversations with the people around me - and they remain silent, mute for entire long stretches of time, nary a cheep out of them.

So, there I would be, working away on my laptop, and there they would be, right by my side, holding their breath in pin drop silence. After a while, in these days of W-ingFH, in the kitchen washing the vessels, and there are are, watching me gleefully as plates and pans slip out of my soapy hands and clatter around - from the other room, the (by now bitter) half has plenty of paragraphs to say while both these Korean brothers remain silent in their mirth. Their maun vrat remains unshakable as I read a novel, as I nurse my evening Scotch... They are imperturbable almost all through a working day.

A little further away, their fellow Korean cousin who does duty for the wife is one hell of an excitable, garrulous chappie. Every few minutes he bursts into chatter, bleating out AND vibrating too, as he urgently summons "Madam" - meanwhile, my two guys remain stubborn, silent, almost showing a Zen calm..

I am not unhappy. I have no complaints. Silence, after all, is.golden...

And I decide, keeping this book that I'm reading, or setting my laptop aside, or keeping those just now washed/dried vessels neatly away... I decide it's time to bathe, or to use the washroom, and I've just entered the bathroom, and I'm standing under the shower, shampoo in my hair/eyes.

And that is EXACTLY when they call out to me.

One goes off at a shrill RRRRRRIIINNNGGGGG RRRRRRIIINNNGGGGG and half a beat later his brother blares out a manic melody.

Again, and again, and insistently again as if the Heavens have decided to fall on my head.
Bleddddy bas#@*ds, I curse viciously, grab a towel, step hastily out, almost slip and fall, and grab for the first fellow while the second still screams.
As I flip open the cover, he clams up, silent as the Sphinx. Muttering to myself, I now grab his brother and keep it to my ear and say, "Allo, Allo" - I'm speaking into air, to an empty nothingness...




I now glare at first the one, then the other, to no avail. Even Bharat Bhushan had greater expressions on his face.