What's in a name?

Originally written on 9th October 2009

Well, by now, many of you would know how quirky/nutty I can be - here's one more facet.

 

In addition to my preoccupation with (among other things) road names in Mumbai/Bombay (speaking of which reminds me I have finally cracked the puzzle of Pandurang Budhkar Marg), I also have got this crazy addiction to reading the "Change of Name" columns in my daily newspaper!! Wel, yes, I know, odd and all that but hey, I've got hooked onto this.... the editorial page, international news, those little, little human stories ("Newsin Brief" types), the comic strips (long live Calvin & Hobbes, Hagar etc), SU-DO-KU (thank you Wayne Gould), Sports section ..................

 

.................................  and ........... Change of Name

 

Wherefrom, much to my everlasting distress, I have realised that "Kumar" is perhaps the most USELESS appendage that often gets excised... example: "I, Pravinkumar Vinodkumar Agarwal, hereby change my name to Pravin Vinod Agarwal"... what then, do I do with the Satheesh Kumar that my dear dad lovingly named me? (Or Shashi Kumar, my elder brother, or Sujith Kumar, my younger?) (Note the spellings, the double "e" in SathEEsh, the "h" in SHashi etc...) So, do I then go and file a gazette that I, K V Satheesh Kumar, hereby change my name to K V Satheesh? Well, that sounds like me - half a nut, incomplete, so I guess I'll let this be.

 

But then, how lucky are men, especially Maharasthrian men - they get to retain their name, not just their surname but the whole damn first name, middle name AND surname!! Witness, for instance, the sad lot of a typical (or shall I say "orthodox") Marathi maiden on marriage? "I, Indumati Dattatreya Purekar, hereby change my name and shall henceforth be known as Kusum Dinkar Kulkarni as per Gazette" Imagine, a new household, new relationships and then, that most personal of things - one's own identity - changed overnight? Is there a trauma here? Or is this, too, a novelty to be welcomed? I can only wonder....

 

And then, occasionally, those stories that lie hidden behind the few bland words: 

 

I, Vimala Shankar Iyer, hereby change my name to Salma Shaikh Mohammed........... or

 

I, Shankar Dayanand Patwardhan, hereby change the name of my minor child Rajesh Shankar Patwardhan to Rekha Shankar Patwardhan.....

 

makes one wonder.

 

But, to explain where this adiction actually started from, witness this - (this one is 100% TRUE, I swear!!): "I, Nazareth Pascu Gandu, hereby change my name from Nazareth Pascu Gandu to Nazareth Pascu Patil"......... I wonder what a life Nazareth must have led during his school/college days?

 

Sats